More families are choosing cremation — and inventive choices for the remains.
By STEVE ROCK
The Kansas City Star
The cross-shaped pendant that Dona Perry wears around her neck is more than just a piece of jewelry. Tucked inside that pendant, always nestled close to her heart, are some of the remains of the mother she lost in July.
“This way, she’s always with me,” said Perry, who lives in Lee’s Summit. “It’s very comforting.”
It wouldn’t be possible without cremation.
In Kansas City, as well as the rest of the country, more people are choosing cremation instead of traditional burials. For economic, ecological and other reasons, the trend is clear.
In 2004, according to data compiled by the Cremation Association of North America, nearly 31 percent of the 2.4 million deaths in the United States resulted in cremation. The numbers have climbed steadily for years and are significantly higher than just 20 years ago, when slightly more than 13 percent of people were cremated. In 1964, it was less than 4 percent.
“It’s the biggest growth section of the entire industry, no doubt about it,” said Joe Budzinski, internal chief operating officer for the International Cemetery and Funeral Association based in Virginia. “And the trend upward is going to increase, absolutely.”
As it does, so will the inventive and exotic options for the remains of loved ones.
They can be placed into jewelry, like Perry did with some remains of her mother, Roni Merry of Lee’s Summit. They can become jewelry, thanks to an Illinois company that creates diamonds from the carbon of loved ones. They can be launched skyward in an elaborate fireworks display, or stitched into basketballs, or released to the heavens in a balloon that travels 5 miles into the sky.
Stigma erased
Andrew Loos founded Heartland Cremation and Burial Society in Raytown in 2001, and in his first year of business cremated about 70 people. This year, Heartland will cremate more than 500.
He remembers when there was a stigma attached to the practice, when the only person who wanted to be cremated was “some nutty professor who had an organic garden out in his backyard.”
That’s not the case anymore, when churches have scattering gardens on their property and funeral homes are adding the word “cremation” to the name of their businesses. It’s gone mainstream, and data compiled by the Cremation Association shows that eight states — topped by Nevada at 65.4 percent — have a cremation percentage of 50 or higher.
One national survey shows that 46 percent of Americans plan to choose cremation.
“It’s grown much quicker than most of those in the funeral business had ever anticipated,” said Jim Hawkins, manager of the Cremation Society of Kansas and Missouri.
Some funeral homes, such as Porter Funeral Homes in Lenexa, are adding crematories with “viewing windows” to their establishments. From there, family members can watch their loved ones placed into the crematory and get the closure or peace of mind they’re seeking.
They don’t watch the cremation process which, depending on the size of the body, takes about two hours. The cremation chamber reaches temperatures of about 1,500 degrees, and what emerges is not traditional ash but about 6 1/2 pounds of bone fragments.
Why choose cremation?
Many reasons, experts said, and a persuasive urn salesman typically isn’t one of them. As Hawkins said, “Ninety percent of the people that go into funeral homes know whether they want to be cremated.”
Reasons for cremation
A 2005 survey commissioned by the Funeral and Memorial Information Council of nearly 1,000 people 40 and older showed that 30 percent of respondents who preferred cremation cited financial savings as the reason. While the National Funeral Directors Association puts the average cost of a traditional funeral at $6,500, Loos and others said cremation can be as affordable as $1,200 or $1,300.
The Wirthlin survey showed that 13 percent preferred cremation because it “saves land.” Other factors come into play, too, such as an ever-more transient society and a person’s desire to be remembered in death for something they loved in life.
Take Gloria Kerns of Overland Park, for example.
An avid hiker, her obituary referred to the Grand Canyon as something “she loved so dearly.” So when she succumbed to ovarian cancer in April at 57, it was only logical that the family make plans to scatter some of her remains — in the Grand Canyon.
“She told us this is what she wanted,” said her husband, Wayne.
Family members plan to scatter them this fall, after securing a permit. Loos advises his clients that they can’t scatter remains at will, that they should always seek permission from the landowner. Sometimes, though, the sky’s the limit.
Houston-based Celestis Inc. will launch loved ones into orbit or all the way to the moon. About 7 grams of cremated remains are attached to commercial rockets, which will release the remains into orbit. That’s where they will stay for years, eventually burning up as they re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere. The costs range from $495 to $12,500, depending on the voyage.
Back on Earth, LifeGem Memorials in Illinois transforms the carbon found in remains into graphite, which then becomes the building block of the LifeGem diamond. “A diamond that takes millions of year to occur naturally,” the company advertises, “can now be created from the carbon of a loved one in a matter of months.”
The company ships the stone to the family, either by itself or set in a 14-karat gold setting. Prices start at $3,000 and can climb as high as $20,000, a company spokeswoman said, and LifeGem has created diamonds for people in all 50 states and 23 countries.
Then there’s Eternal Reefs in Georgia, which mixes cremated remains with concrete and creates a reef that’s placed in the Atlantic Ocean or the Gulf of Mexico. For Karen Webster of Wichita, it was the perfect way to honor her longtime partner, Julie Riley, who died in January. The two loved the outdoors, and Riley relished the chance to be surrounded by life — even in death.
“She came to me before she died and said, ‘This is what I want you to do with me,’ ” Webster said. “Knowing that her remains are giving something back to nature is very comforting.
“It was a wonderful experience.”
Cremation Data Nationally, nearly 31 percent of all deaths result in cremations. The top five states, percentage-wise, based on 2003 data: StatePercent1. Nevada65.42. Hawaii64.43. Washington61.64. Oregon60.75. Arizona56.731. Kansas22.834. Missouri20.5 |
