A former Rhode Island Coast Guard captain wanted to honor his father’s dying wish to have his ashes scattered in Narragansett Bay. He soon became frustrated after having little success in finding a company that specialized in such memorials.

The captain knew the rules. To scatter a loved one’s ashes you must be three miles out in the bay, and, of course, when it comes to the actual process one must make sure the boat is positioned properly. Otherwise, due to the wind, you may end up covered in the remains.

He complained to his friend, a licensed captain named David Morin of Uxbridge, Mass., about the lack of such formal sendoffs, and his desire to have some kind of a small gathering and a certificate to remember the occasion.

“We had heard of people who just dropped ashes off bridges or the Block Island Ferry or showed up at the docks and hired a fishing boat,” said Morin. “All of that is not recommended nor is it allowed. Something like that needs to be done right.”

Motivated by his friend’s dilemma, some three years ago Morin created a maritime funeral company called A Burial at Sea. For $595, Morin will take six guests in his boat one-hour offshore to hold a ceremony to scatter ashes and put a loved one to rest. He charges $195 if friends and family are unable to attend. He’ll scatter the ashes on his own, and then send the family a burial certificate.Morin’s business is among a variety of companies across the country that are helping families deal with their loved ones’ remains, either fulfilling their relative’s wishes or finding a final resting place more exotic than a family urn. The demand is a response to a growing number of cremations — 32 percent of U.S. deaths led to cremation in 2005, compared with 21 percent in 1996, according to the National Funeral Directors Association.

Morin says his families can choose the location of the scattering. He’ll perform services near the Point Judith, Beavertail or Castle Hill lighthouses so, according to Morin’s Web site, www.aburialatsea.com, “Loved ones can visit the area year round.” So far, he has performed 36 scatterings, and he offers the same service for remains of pets.

On the West Coast, Bill Metzger said he’s seen a 50 percent increase in customers over the past year for his business, Final Flights, which uses his Piper Cherokee to scatter ashes above southern California sites, such as La Jolla, Big Bear or the Catalina Islands. He said he does six to 10 scatterings a month at a cost of $300 to $500, depending on distance and fuel prices.

“When I get a call and I explain what we do, people are stunned; they didn’t know something like this existed,” Metzger said. “It just seemed an uplifting — no pun intended — happy way of doing things, as opposed to a somber scattering at sea or placing in a columbarium [crypt].”

Mark Smith, president of the Chicago-based Cremation Association of North America, said the majority of cremated remains still go home with loved ones for burial or safekeeping. But his association did a study last year that found that 21.7 percent of remains are destined to be scattered, up from 17.8 percent in 1997.

Smith said much of that growth is coming as funeral home directors increasingly offer scattering services in their funeral packages or at least broach the subject of alternative disposition of the ashes, something traditional-minded families may have never considered.

He added that some relatives choose scattering because they worry about possibly losing the remains or subsequent generations letting the ashes lay forgotten in a closet or attic.

“They realize they don’t want to become custodians and caretakers for these remains for a long period of time,” he said.

DWIGHT SMITH and his mother made several trips to Ireland over the years, reveling in the beauty of the Killarney lakes in the southwest corner of the country.

When Smith’s mother died last August, there was no question she would be cremated — a request she had made often — or that her remains would be scattered near the lakes.

But Smith, of New London, Conn., said he didn’t have the time or resources to make the trip now and wanted to fulfill his mother’s wishes soon.

“What she doesn’t want to be is in Long Island Sound,” he said.

Checking with a mortician friend, he hooked up with the International Scattering Society in the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit, a sort of travel agency for the cremated dead that offered to handle for a fee all the paperwork and logistics required in taking his mother’s remains overseas. Sometime this month, one of the society’s members will scatter the ashes in Killarney, providing Smith with video or photos of the event.

“I feel that it will be done in a better way than I could have done,” he said. “My mother would be happy that someone who likes doing this is doing this.”

KELLY MURTAUGH, owner of the nearly three-year-old International Scattering Society, says the company will honor any request to scatter ashes anywhere in the world. For customers who want information on scattering on their own, for $75 her staff will research local ordinances and obtain a permit.

Her company charges $495 to perform a scattering at a family’s request. In Europe, the Society charges $695; Japan costs $895.

National parks have been the most popular location to strew remains, she said. Recently, a few requests have arrived to scatter in France. One of the more unusual requests came from someone who asked to have ashes put inside a slot machine in a Las Vegas casino, but she said her company has scattered in rainforests and at Stonehenge.

“I think baby boomers want options. They are a much more transient group,” she said. “They typically don’t have family nearby, and they want to honor requests of family members.”

People are no longer limited by geography when considering final resting places. Some don’t like the idea that their ashes will simplysit on a mantle, and they are making plans for their ashes before they die.

THE MOST POPULAR scattering option is water, reported a study by the Cremation Association. Land-based scattering has grown from 27 percent to 40 percent since 1997.

Coast Guard Capt. Gus Hald has offered sea services for more than 15 years through his Babylon, N.Y., firm, www.seaservices.com. A spokeswoman for his company, Donna Valdner, estimated that he performs about 10 per month.

He frequently scatters in waters around Long Island ($195), and the remains arrive via the mail. He sends the family a burial certificate with the date, and latitude and longitude of the scattering. The company has a selection of biodegradable urns too. (Onboard memorial services with six passengers start at $675.)

Hald has connections to other ports in the United States and Hawaii, Valdner said, where he will send ashes upon request.

Wes Heinmiller, owner of Newport Beach, Calif.-based Atlantis Society, said his company does about 400 scattering ceremonies a year off the coasts of California and Washington State. His service costs $1,000 to $1,200 per ceremony, including the cost of chartering his 67-foot yacht.

JOANIE WEST of Crystal River, Fla., has taken a different angle on air scattering with her 10-year-old company, The Eternal Ascent Society. With the help of the family or by herself, she launches the cremated remains inside a large helium-filled balloon. Once it reaches a height of five miles, it pops, distributing the ashes to the winds.

“It’s something that’s beautiful when they see it,” said West, who is setting up franchises in Las Vegas, Seattle and New Jersey and charges between $995 and $1,500 per service, depending on how far the coordinator has to travel. “I tell them that when it scatters, it’s going all over the universe.”

For the person envisioning a more localized scattering, there are numerous services willing to take the ashes to any spot on the globe.

Jonathan Rose in Mountain View, Calif., charges $225 to take a person’s ashes to land he owns south of Yosemite National Park in the Sierra Mountains where he’ll scatter the remains or bury them in one spot, which he said appeals to Catholics.

“Mostly they want to be in the mountains; the idea of being scattered from a mile up doesn’t appeal to them,” said Rose, whose High Sierra Gardens does about 12 scatterings a year but acknowledges he could do a lot more if he worked on his marketing. “It really is building up a trust issue with the funeral homes; that’s really difficult.”

THE ISSUE IS REALLY about people and their feelings. Murtaugh said she founded her International Scattering Society after working in hospice care and seeing the struggles people had in making end-of-life decisions. She now has 22 members available, mostly in the U.S., who will receive the ashes through certified mail and scatter them wherever the customer wants.

“I think it’s a way of cherishing the memory of that person,” she said. “Maybe they feel that have a connection with that particular area.”

Besides scattering, the society can also help customers navigate the myriad regulations covering the disposal of cremated remains, which varies widely from country to country and even city to city.

Disposal typically requires a permit from the local health department and, in the case of overseas scatterings, tangling with customs officials.

“If it gives them some closure, that’s all we need,” she said.

• A Burial At Sea: www.aburialatsea.com

• International Scattering Society:

   www.internationalscatteringsociety.com/

• Atlantis Society: www.atlantissociety.com/

• Sea Services: www.seaservices.com

• Final Flights: www.finalflights.com/

• Eternal Ascent Society: www.eternalascent.com/

• National Funeral Directors Association: www.nfda.org/

• Cremation Association of North America:

   www.cremationassociation.org/

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