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No golfing in the cemetery - or hunting, either

Written by DeadGirl
Tuesday, 08 August 2006
At the Forest Glade Cemetery in Wakefield, Mass., there's a rule that in order to be eligible to buy a plot, the "individual must be deceased." I came upon this bit of intelligence from Kathy Mailler of Mountainville, who makes a hobby of locating her ancestors' grave sites. This has led her into some unusual situations, such as the discovery that her husband's Nanny Clouser, was misplaced after her funeral 39 years ago. I wrote about that a few years ago during Kathy's search for Nanny, who was eventually located - with the help of the undertaker, the priest, the village clerk and a guy with a divining rod - in Section B, Plot 17 at St. Mary's Cemetery in Washingtonville. Having formed a bond through our common interest in finding Nanny, Kathy recently e-mailed me a link to the Wakefield's cemetery site so I could read up on the rules they've got there. Along with the fact that only the dead can buy a cemetery plot in Wakefield, I learned from the Web site that visitors must also abide by some pretty harsh restrictions: no planting vegetables, no drinking, no shooting guns, no golfing and no car washing. In general, I'm of the opinion that we've got too many rules and regulations. But after reading the Wakefield list governing the behavior of mourners, it struck me that most places don't make a rule unless someone has been engaging in malfeasance, thereby making a formal protocol necessary. And that led me to wonder, what kind of people live in Wakefield, Mass., anyhow, that they need to be told not to wash their cars at the cemetery? So I decided to check and see if Wakefield just has a particularly bad lot of mourners or if other places have similar rules laid down. And darned if it doesn't turn out that a fair number of cemeteries have had problems with golfers and car washers and drunks. (Probably it's mainly the drunks responsible for the other poor conduct. I can't see how a sober golfer might consider a cemetery a good place to tee off.) The rules ban everything from hunting to smoking. Are we so incapable of governing our own comportment that we need to be told not to bring a gun to a funeral? Or light up while the minister is beseeching the Almighty to do his best for the deceased? It appears so. Here are some of the rules I found: In Belmont, Mass., there is to be "No instructing persons in the use and operation of a motor vehicle" in the cemetery. I can only assume parents were bringing their teenagers out there for driving lessons on the theory that anyone the kids might hit was already dead anyway, so what was the harm? Lord knows what kind of craziness was going on at the Bardstown, Ky., cemetery that led to this admonishment: "It is requested that visitors be decently clothed, including shoes and shirts, and that they refrain from parties." In Marquette, Mich., "After burial, it will not be permissible for anyone to open the casket or to touch the body without consent." I confess, I am much relieved to know they have put a stop to these kinds of shenanigans in Marquette. In Newton, Iowa, "No lot shall be used for any other purpose than for the burial of the human dead." One can only imagine. And in upstate Churchville, they apparently had some trouble with folks trying to cram a bunch of bodies into one plot, probably for the sake of economy, leading officials to specify as follows: "There will be only one (1) adult interment to each space. There may be two (2) infants to one adult space or six (6) cremations to one adult space." What's nice is they allow for the fact that if you get blown to bits, you get a discount: "Sections of body interments will be charged as infant interments." They may be a bit fussbudgety up there in Churchville, but I'll give them this - they have an indisputable sense of fairness. There are 904 days left 'til Inauguration 2009. SOURCE: http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2006/07/31/news-bethcoljuly31-07-31.html

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Taphophilia?

taphophilia (taf′ō-fil′ē-ă)

ORIGIN:
From the Greek words taphos, meaning "tomb" or "sepulcher" and philia, meaning "attraction or affinity to something, in particular the love or obsession with something"

DEFINITION: 1. An excessive interest in graves and cemeteries. 2. A love or fondness for funerals, graves, and cemeteries. 3. In psychiatry, a morbid attraction to graves and cemeteries