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Death comes to all, preparation is necessary - To ease burden of survivors, funerals, memorial services, burial and cremation arrangements should be planned
By Carole Kadinger, Ph.D., Correspondent
“Death is our eternal companion. It is always at our left, at an arm’s length... ask death’s advice and drop the cursed pettiness that belongs to men that live their lives as if death will never tap them... Feel its presence around you.”
— Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan 1972
Each year Americans spend billions of dollars arranging more than 2 million funerals for family members and friends. Yet, statistics show that nearly half of all American consumers have never arranged for a funeral. When a death occurs, grieving family members and friends are often confronted with many important and potentially costly decisions — all of which must be made quickly and often under emotional duress.
How to dispose of the body and whether or not to have a funeral service are only the beginning of the many details that must be worked out. How savvy are you as a consumer? What are the federal and state regulations and laws? The discovery of hundreds of decaying corpses on the grounds of Georgia’s Tri-State Crematory in the winter of 2002 caused some states to tighten the regulation on funeral markets.
My own interest was sparked when a neighbor related an experience she had after her mother’s death. When she and her father were at a crematory in Eau Claire, the salesperson said, “Because you were married 63 years, you want to do the best by her.” Then he started showing the display of urns. Her father paid $200 for an urn “that looked like a simple ginger cookie jar that could have been made in a ceramics class for $10.”
“They more or less take advantage of a person in mourning,” the daughter said.
The savvy consumer would have known that he could have brought his own urn.
According to the Federal Trade Commission, “Most funeral providers are professionals who strive to serve their clients’ needs and best interests. But some aren’t. They may take advantage of their clients through inflated prices, overcharges, double charges or unnecessary services.”
Carolyn Ohnstad, secretary/treasurer of the Evergreen Cemetery Association, believes that the people in this area “who are associated with death and dying are not only reputable but are considerate of families and their needs.”
Most families plan to contact the same funeral director they’ve turned to in the past to help them arrange a funeral. If you do not have a family funeral director, you could ask for recommendations from others or contact the Wisconsin Funeral Directors Association Member Search Web site at http://www.wfda.org/public/ faq.html.
For your peace of mind, know that the Federal Trade Commission and the Wisconsin Department of Regulation & Licensing regulate the funeral service. For example, the Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission, requires funeral directors to give you itemized prices in person and, if you ask, over the phone. If you are thinking of buying a casket or outer burial container, the funeral provider must show you descriptions of the available selections and the prices before actually showing you the caskets. When you arrange for a funeral, you have the right to buy individual goods and services. You do not have to select a “package” of commonly-selected goods and services.
According to the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule:
• You have the right to choose the funeral goods and services you want (with some exceptions).
• The funeral provider must state this right in writing on the general price list.
• If state or local law requires you to buy any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list with a reference to the specific law.
• The funeral provider may not refuse or charge a fee to handle a casket you bought elsewhere.
• A funeral provider that offers cremations must make alternative containers available.
Under the Funeral Rule, funeral directors who offer direct cremations:
• May not tell you that state or local law requires a casket for direct cremations, because none do.
• Must disclose in writing your right to buy an unfinished wood box or an alternative container for a direct cremation.
• Must make an unfinished wood box or other alternative container available for direct cremations.
The State of Wisconsin Department of Regulation & Licensing requires that “before opening for business, and every two years thereafter, a funeral establishment operator shall obtain a permit from the board through application upon a form furnished by the board. An original permit may not be granted to an operator of a funeral establishment without an inspection. No permit may be granted to a funeral establishment which does not meet requirements in s.445.01, Wis.Stats.”
Each state has its own regulations regarding licensing a funeral director. Colorado does not require a funeral director to have a degree. In Wisconsin, “no person may engage in the business of a funeral director, or make a representation as engaged in such business, in whole or in part, unless first licensed as a funeral director by the Funeral Directors Examining Board.” A two-year degree along with a one-year internship is required to obtain a license. The State of Wisconsin Department of Regulation & Licensing also requires the funeral director to continue his or her education by taking 15 credits every two years.
Only seven states prohibit joint ownership of funeral homes and cemeteries. Wisconsin is one of these. This provides checks and balances, while keeping prices fair through competition.
A bill, passed in 2005, in Madison, regulates cremation. It was enacted this spring. The National Funeral Directors Association has been trying to get all providers of funeral goods, merchandise and services covered under the Funeral Rule.
“If you add all the rules and regulations pertaining to funeral establishments, Wisconsin is in the top 2 or 3 percent in the entire nation,” said Mark Paget, executive director of the Wisconsin Funeral Directors Association. The Wisconsin Department of Regulation & Licensing reported that of the 45,000 plus deaths in Wisconsin during 2004, fewer than 30 complaints were filed against funeral directors. This figure was the lowest of any profession that the department regulates.
“We don’t see a lot of problems in our profession because of our laws and because over 92 percent are family owned,” said Paget. “Some are fourth generation funeral homes.”
The Wisconsin Funeral Directors Association recommends that “before making any arrangements, determine if the deceased left any instructions about his or her funeral or has prepaid funeral or cemetery arrangements. Funeral arrangements made prior to death should be honored.” Check to see if the deceased had any death benefits that would cover funeral cost.
For example, in order to meet the regulations and expect money from the Medicaid program, the county department of human services would need to be contacted before the funeral arrangements are made. Signing a contract for funeral services will make you liable for the cost of the funeral but the decedent’s estate or available death benefits usually cover final costs. Checking with your family attorney is advised.
Planning ahead
Planning ahead cannot only help you make informed and thoughtful decisions about funeral arrangements, but it also spares your survivors the stress of making these decisions under the pressure of time and emotions. An important consideration when planning a funeral is where the remains will be buried, entombed or scattered.
If burial or entombment is chosen, consider the location of the cemetery and whether it meets the requirements of your family’s religion. Other considerations include what, if any, restrictions the cemetery places on burial vaults purchased elsewhere, the type of monuments or memorials it allows and whether flowers or other remembrances may be placed on graves.
Also, check on the cost for marking a lot for placement of a marker or monument and opening/closing for burial or cremation. Cemeteries require a grave liner, a concrete box in which the casket is placed. The liner helps minimize ground settling. Or the family could choose a vault, which has some protective qualities. The FTC’s Funeral Rule does not cover cemeteries and mausoleums unless they sell both funeral goods and funeral services. The Wisconsin Funeral Directors Association reports, “No law in Wisconsin prevents family members from burying their own dead as long as all legal requirements are met.” One of these requirements is that they obtain a permit from the Wisconsin State Department of Health.
When you make decisions about your arrangements, you may or may not choose to pay for them in advance, but consider this: Over time, prices may go up and businesses may close or change ownership. In some areas with increased competition, prices may go down over time. Again, Wisconsin is well above average with pre-need laws. If you choose to pay in advance, 100 percent of your money goes into a bank trust where it is safe and growing. The funds are your funds and they are portable. They can go with you if you move. In some states, it is locked in and you only receive your deposit back. The funeral director in Wisconsin is not allowed, like they are in some states, to remove the money.
Review and revise your decisions every few years. Make sure your family is aware of your wishes.
The Federal Trade Commission recommends that you put your preferences in writing, give copies to family members and your attorney, and keep a copy in a handy place. Don’t designate your preferences in your will because many times a will is not found or read until after the funeral. Avoid putting the only copy in a safe deposit box. Your family may have to make arrangements on a weekend or holiday, before the box can be opened.
“We are put on this earth to celebrate. You give it everything you have. Everything. That includes your death. The greatest thing you can do is possess your own death so that when it comes it is given, not taken. Honor your own death. It is a sacrament... Death renders life magnificent... Death walks beside one, and so does whatever one’s sense of God is, or the sublime.”
Scott Symons (interview in The Idler) June 1989.
For More Information
Most states have a licensing board that regulates the funeral industry. You may contact the board in your state for information or help. If you want additional information about making funeral arrangements and the options available, you may want to contact interested business, professional and consumer groups. Some of the biggest are:
AARP Fulfillment
601 E Street, NW
Washington, DC 20049
1-800-424-3410
www.aarp.org
AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to helping older Americans achieve lives of independence, dignity and purpose. Its publications, Funeral Goods and Services and Pre-Paying for Your Funeral, are available free by writing to the above address. This and other funeral-related information is posted on the AARP Web site.
Council of Better Business Bureaus, Inc.
4200 Wilson Blvd., Suite 800
Arlington, VA 22203-1838
www.bbb.org
Better Business Bureaus are private, nonprofit organizations that promote ethical business standards and voluntary self-regulation of business practices.
Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA)
33 Patchen Road
South Burlington, VT 05403
1-800-765-0107
www.funerals.org
FCA, a nonprofit, educational organization that supports increased funeral consumer protection, is affiliated with the Funeral and Memorial Society of America (FAMSA).
Cremation Association of North America (CANA)
401 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 644-6610
www.cremationassociation.org
CANA is an association of crematories, cemeteries and funeral homes that offer cremation.
International Cemetery and Funeral Association (ICFA)
1895 Preston White Drive, Suite 220
Reston, VA 20191 1-800-645-7700
www.icfa.org
ICFA is a nonprofit association of cemeteries, funeral homes, crematories and monument retailers that offers informal mediation of consumer complaints through its Cemetery Consumer Service Council. Its Web site provides information and advice under “Consumer Resources.”
International Order of the Golden Rule (OGR)
13523 Lakefront Drive
St. Louis, MO 63045
1-800-637-8030
www.ogr.org
OGR is an international association of about 1,300 independent funeral homes.
Jewish Funeral Directors of America Seaport Landing (JFDA)
150 Lynnway, Suite 506
Lynn, MA 01902
(781) 477-9300
www.jfda.org
JFDA is an international association of funeral homes serving the Jewish community.
National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA)
13625 Bishop’s Drive
Brookfield, WI 53005
1-800-228-6332
www.nfda.org/resources
NFDA is the largest educational and professional association of funeral directors.
National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association (NFDMA)
3951 Snapfinger Parkway, Suite 570
Decatur, GA 30035
1-800-434-0958
www.nfdma.com
NFDMA is a national association primarily of African-American funeral providers.
National Selected Morticians (NSM)
5 Revere Drive, Suite 340
Northbrook, IL 60062-8009
1-800-323-4219
www.nsm.org
NSM is a national association of funeral firms that have agreed to comply with its Code of Good Funeral Practice. Consumers may request a variety of publications through NSM’s affiliate, the Consumer Information Bureau, Inc.
Funeral Service Consumer Assistance Program (FSCAP)
P.O. Box 486
Elm Grove, WI 53122-0486
1-800-662-7666
FSCAP is a nonprofit consumer service designed to help people understand funeral service and related topics and to help them resolve funeral service concerns. FSCAP service representatives and an intervener assist consumers in identifying needs, addressing complaints and resolving problems. Free brochures on funeral related topics are available.
Funeral Service Educational Foundation (FSEF)
13625 Bishop’s Drive
Brookfield, WI 53005
1-877-402-5900
FSEF is a nonprofit foundation dedicated to advancing professionalism in funeral service and to enhancing public knowledge and understanding through education and research.
Death comes to all, preparation is necessary - To ease burden of survivors, funerals, memorial services, burial and cremation arrangements should be planned
“Death is our eternal companion. It is always at our left, at an arm’s length... ask death’s advice and drop the cursed pettiness that belongs to men that live their lives as if death will never tap them... Feel its presence around you.”
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