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Taphophilia (dot) Com...
A repository of morbid curiosities:
Thanatology and Taphophile Issues, Cemetery,
Funeral Industry and Death Related News.
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Guardians of the Soul: Angels and Innocents, Mourners and Saints, Indiana's remarkable cemetery sculpture
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West Springfield Massachusetts: Stories Carved in Stone by Rusty Clark features information on early New England gravestone carvers with more than two hundred photos and illustrations. Please visit the Dog Pond Press website.
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Mourners Upset by Grave Decoration Removal |
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Written by DeadGirl
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Friday, 03 June 2005 |
Mourners Upset by Grave Decoration Removal
By BEN RAYNER
Published on 6/3/2005
New London Day
BRANFORD, CT - A controversy between mourners at St. Agnes Cemetery and parish officials of the cemetery continues to grow. A recent enforcement of cemetery grave decoration rules has outraged some mourners who have loved ones buried at St. Agnes.
Some mourners recently arrived at the gravesites of their loved ones, only to find the memorial tokens left on previous visits had been discarded as trash at the cemetery edge. Many have expressed their dismay that they were never contacted by church officials about the sudden enforcement of decoration rules.
The church said that despite lax enforcement in the past, the rules have always been in place and that St. Agnes decoration guidelines are the same for all Catholic cemeteries.
Father Christopher Ford, pastor at St. Mary's Church, which oversees the cemetery, said that the complaints are recent but that other mourners have told him the cleanup was long overdue.
"This seems unique to St. Agnes. I haven't seen this problem elsewhere. It's an anomaly. I don't think you would be able to find another Catholic cemetery with this kind of situation. Our guidelines and rules are no different than any other Catholic cemetery in the country," said Ford.
Other mourners strongly disagree and feel that their grieving and memorializing of their deceased loved ones has been needlessly interfered with.
Branford resident Kathy Zimmerman, whose mother and nephew are buried at St. Agnes, is upset with the way the situation was handled by St. Agnes officials.
"The heartbreaking part is that we know that people come to visit Mikey [her nephew]. We would see items left there and know that friends had come by. It was comforting even if we didn't know who they were. It was just good to know someone had cared enough to come. Now that has been taken away," said Zimmerman.
St. Mary's Church did hold a meeting and placed ads in newspapers and church bulletins, according to Ford, but many mourners did not receive notice and were upset when they found personal items and flowers removed from gravesites.
"Eighty percent of the people at the meeting wanted the sites cleaned up. We had been receiving a number of complaints about the clutter. And four out of five people who have responded since then have agreed with our decision," said Ford.
Responding to criticism that families and owners weren't notified properly, Ford said, "I honestly don't know what else we could have done. As far as addresses go, most contact information is for deceased people. The records are simply obsolete."
Several mourners who spoke to (IT)The Sound disagree with Ford's assessment. Kevin Quinn of East Haven who is not a member of St. Mary's but was at the cemetery to pay respects to his father's grave, said that officials had gone too far in their decision.
"I can't believe that the church would do this. They said it was posted but I live in East Haven and it wasn't posted there. It's just wrong--they shouldn't be disturbing graves," Quinn said. "They ripped up tulips that have bloomed here for years, why did they do that?"
Pointing to other graves that still had flowers growing, Quinn added, "What flowers can we put here? They have enough problems in the Catholic Church already. Why would they have to do something like this? None of this was a problem before, they should have left it alone."
According to Susan Anderson, sextant for Branford Center Cemetery and board member of the Connecticut Cemetery Association, the problem of cluttered gravesites has been growing in recent years. Center Cemetery is not affiliated with St. Agnes but Anderson sees some of the same problems and supports the decision by Ford and St. Mary's.
"Rules are posted in every cemetery and people just ignore them. We are here to help the grieving, not hurt them. That is our job. You have to respect people's grieving process," said Anderson. "It is hard but I feel Father Ford and St. Mary's did the best thing for all. They took the time to see and visit other cemeteries and to view how they handled similar situations. They came here to see how we deal with this problem and used us as an example."
Christine Reilly lost her son tragically in 1998 and is upset about the way the church handled the situation.
"For seven years we have been going to visit my son almost every Saturday. I can no longer do anything for my son--but I can take care of his grave and they've taken that right away from me," Reilly said. "They should have done a better job notifying people that this was going to change. They've managed to destroy a community of people who were already hurting," said Reilly.
Reilly feels that the issue is fiscal in nature and said that officials are taking these steps to save money on landscaping costs. "I believe it is a cost saving measure," she said. "If that is true then maybe they can assess owners a small fee for maintenance and allow us to mourn."
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Taphophilia?
taphophilia (taf′ō-fil′ē-ă)
ORIGIN:
From the Greek words taphos, meaning "tomb" or "sepulcher" and philia, meaning "attraction or affinity to something, in particular the love or obsession with something"
DEFINITION: 1. An excessive interest in graves and cemeteries. 2. A love or fondness for funerals, graves, and cemeteries. 3. In psychiatry, a morbid attraction to graves and cemeteries
Quote Repository
“When it is time to die, let us not discover that we never lived.” Henry David Thoreau
Shirtless and Sculpted
The Men of Mortuaries 2008 Calendar is now available! All sale proceeds benefit KAMMCARES, a breast cancer foundation.
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