Catholic Church officials are forbidding the family of a man killed at Ground Zero to erect a small granite replica of the twin towers at his grave - causing his parents added anguish. "What the church is doing is cruel," said Nassima Wachtler of Ramsey, N.J., whose only son died in the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. "The whole idea of any kind of church or religion is to soothe the soul. I don't find that is being done."

Greg Wachtler, 25, worked on the 93rd floor of the north tower, the first to be hit by a hijacked plane. His remains were recovered amid the rubble of 5 World Trade Center and identified Nov. 14, 2001.

His parents believe he had escaped the intense fires that consumed the north tower, only to have the skyscraper collapse before he could flee the complex.

Wachtler, who lived in Manhattan, was buried in the family's plot at St. Mary's Cemetery in Greenwich, Conn. His paternal grandparents lie beside him.

The headstone bears the family name but makes no specific mention of Wachtler, who worked as a research associate for Fred Alger Management. It also says nothing of the Sept. 11 attacks.

Wachtler's mother and his father, Paul, believe the best way to memorialize their son is by placing a monument in the likeness of the twin towers on the base of the headstone.

"The towers were very important to him," said Paul Wachtler, 59. "He was very proud of them and was very excited when he started working there."

According to a drawing of the proposed tribute, the replica towers would be 4.4 inches wide and 29 inches tall. They would be slightly shorter than the headstone.

"It would be so respectful," said Nassima Wachtler, 57. "We are not trying to make a showcase of it."

But the Diocese of Bridgeport, which manages the cemetery, has refused to allow the tribute, citing longstanding rules that allow for only one monument per plot.

"We do sympathize with their loss," said Ray Capo, director of cemeteries for the diocese. "But there are other people who lose loved ones as well. This is a policy for everyone."

The cemetery covers about 70 acres and consists of a few thousand plots, according to Capo. "To allow additional monuments would open a Pandora's box of problems," he said.

Church officials learned of the idea of the replica towers in June 2002.

After rejecting the idea, Capo said, the diocese presented several alternatives to the Wachtlers - including increasing the headstone's size and sandblasting an image of the twin towers on the marker. "But she refuses to do that," Capo said of Wachtler's mother.

The Wachtlers insist the rule is enforced capriciously and have sought help from elected officials in New Jersey and Connecticut.

The couple said they have no intention of suing the church or exhuming their son. They are seeking to win public support in hopes of swaying the church.

"We are asking for an exception because the event was so exceptional," Paul Wachtler said. "We are looking for a break."

His wife, who makes the 40-mile trip to her son's grave almost daily, vowed not to give up.

"What they are doing is opening the wound a little bit more," she said. "I'll keep on fighting. The last wish that we have for our son is that he can be buried with his towers above him."

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